Bitchin' Ride or Occult Conspiracy? (While you read, download a 3-meg MP3 file of Pollo Del Mar's "Cutlass Supreme ") Pollo Del Mar's song "Cutlass Supreme" was written and arranged to evoke the feelings of watching the classic, splatter filled driver's education films I saw in High School: "Red Asphalt" or "Terror on Highway 8". Moralistic tales about the horrors of drinking and driving. For anybody raised on "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" or "Night of the Living Dead", these films were laughably bad and just made me want to steal the car more often. The song moves through a series of '70s inspired musical themes: a bass-line reminiscent of the Dixie Dregs' "Cruise Control", some funky wah-wah stolen from the "Theme from S.W.A.T.", and a melody line courtesy of Ted Nugent's "Stranglehold".
But here is where our joyride takes a sinister turn... You know what a real Cutlass is don't you? It is a sword, the finest sword made. As worn by the Marines in their recruiting ads, used by pirates and buccaneers to slice their enemies to ribbons, pure sterling silver sharpened to a razors edge.
So just exactly what is Oldsmobile up to here? Was there a subliminal message that their car is a vehicle for driving down the divine path to enlightenment? Or was Oldsmobile directed by Free Masons wishing to espouse their heretical teachings? The shiny silver of the cutlass might be intrepreted as the element Mercury, aka the "Messenger of the Gods" in greek mythology.
"This Is Not Your Father's Oldsmobile"? Sure, if it's your father who art in heaven!
satire by Ferenc Dobronyi Web Sources: Dixie Dregs '70's instro giants Oldsmobile Cutlass Coupe Club of Madison WI - The fastest growing car club in the US! Screech's 1976 Cutlass Supreme Brougham - This guy loves his car! Jack T. Chick Ministries - These "Comic" books creeped me out when I was a kid A Catholic Rebuttal to Jack T. Chick The Sword In The Stone - The Arthurian Legend The Marines - check out the sword and meteorite graphic on their homepage! The Proctor and Gamble Logo - Rumor exposed! |
So many car songs are written about unobtainably expensive hot-rods:
"409", "Jaguar XKE", "Little Deuce Coupe",
but whoever writes about the cars that kids really drive? The cars they
borrow from their moms and punch a hole in the muffler to sound bad-ass.
Personally, I drove a '78 AMC Pacer. I even put a 4-bbl carb on that dog.
What a waste, and "Pacer" would be a terrible song title.
So, this song is named for my friends' mom's car, a Cutlass. But this
just wasn't any ordinary Cutlass, this was a Cutlass Supreme! And I am not
talking about the cherry convertible muscle car of the early '70s, I am
talking about the square sided, air-conditioned, white with red and blue
pinstripe Bi-Centennial edition two door Brougham coupe that we would spin
donuts, go to concerts and trash lawns in. Ah to be young and stupid...
A Supreme Cutlass suggests a sword that is of divine nature, perhaps
a gift from the gods for use in the fight for the righteous. The Divine
sword has appeared in many allegorical tales of spiritual growth throughout
time, perhaps most notably as Excalibur in the King Arthur legend. Another
sword in that story represented Arthur's divine right to be king of England,
and as he pulled it from the stone his noble destiny was revealed.
Ever look at the old Oldsmobile logo? A horizontal and vertical bar
crossing, and enclosed in a box. The horizontal line is broken in the middle
and the ends dip lower than the center point where it crosses the verticle
line. The shape is generally interpreted to be a rocket taking off. Or,
maybe it could be a sword pointing toward the sky in defiance.
But, it also looks a like a peace sign, which everyone knows is actually
an upside down cross with the cross bar broken. Anybody who has ever read
a Jack Chick christian comic book knows that hippies used this symbol to
show their break from christian society and is a sign of devil worship.
Remember the controversy surrounding the Proctor and Gamble logo with
the moon and 13 stars. Some "Christians" convinced the P&G
stock holders that the corporation were in league with Satan and thier share
price dropped until they change their logo. Was Oldsmobile under the same
pressure to shuck their evil ways?
Hardly... Sure Oldsmobile redesigned their logo. But to what extent
have they repented their evil ways? The new logo shows a "Rocket"
blasting into an "Oval." OK, I don't want to go Freud on you,
and sometimes a train is just a train, but this rocket is obviously an erect
you know what and this oval leads to ovaries, if you know what I mean. Oldsmobile,
hedonists since 1897.